I once had a boss that no matter what I did, I was never good enough. I was constantly micromanaged, belittled, and picked apart, regardless of the fact that I increased her small business by $1.2 million in less than a year. She just didn’t like me and she thought that by using negative tactics, I’d mold myself to who she wanted. When I left, she threw me a party, to thank me for leaving. I left relieved but incredibly scared that I wouldn’t be good enough for my new job, and unfortunately, that had a rather negative impact on my entire being, often forgoing sleep to get ahead on the next day, ensuring I was always the top performer. It wore me out a year later.
I’ve learned a lot since that experience, namely that confidence is everything and if you waver, it leaves you highly susceptible to bullies, and other negative types of individuals. This was a key lesson for me to continue to remember when I eventually became my own boss. I learned a lot about how when other people are controlled by another force, those people, in turn, will do the same to you, whether that’s adhering to another culture, personal work style preference, etc.
Now, imagine working for the world’s greatest boss, where you are encouraged to thrive, think outside of the box, take on new skill sets, and learn from your failures. He encourages you to keep pushing forward, praises you when you do great things, and helps you become better at the things that need work. In other words, he instills the hope and confidence in you that you can be great, resulting in great work, and even greater performance. (Shout out to my current boss, who is THE BEST!)
The reason I give these examples is to show what today’s practice is trying to teach us. The more we encourage others, and not intentionally try to change them, the more hope and confidence are instilled in them, to be better for themselves and for others. The more we encourage, the happier we are, the happier we are, the more positive place we are all in.
So whether you are the controller/the great “boss” that encourages people, and/or the recipient of this, it’s important to remember that kindness and encouragement, from an internal place of nurture, are key to instilling the right hope in others.
My ask to you is to find one person you know who could use a compliment and PAY it! Yes, it must be sincere. But I guarantee you that that little compliment will brighten both your days and you will soon find that, that happy/peaceful feeling is addicting 🙂