So you’ve been able to define who you are, learn to deal with negativity from others, trust your gut, and get well on your way to being the true YOU. The question is, are you completely happy with yourself, or are you still silently judging the less-than-favorable aspects of you?
We all have internal (and external flaws) we wish we didn’t have. But it’s whether or not we can embrace them, that determines whether or not we feel WHOLE. Whether we know it or not, we assign “emotional tags” to our less-than-positive traits, which causes incidental (sometimes cognizant) self-judging. These behaviors can consume us – we can become obsessed over the judgment(s) and more often than not, it will affect the people around us (causing subsequent judgment from others). Thus, one of two things happens: We either take action to fix it, or we continue to let it swallow us whole, affecting our mood. Learning to accept YOU completely, without reservation, is probably the HARDEST thing to do.
I have a beautiful friend named Emily Nolan Joseph who is a Plus-size model and women’s empowerment pioneer. She used to be a size 2, practically starving herself, spending way more time in the gym in a day than most of us spend there in two weeks. She was trying to compete with all of the other models in the industry. She was skinny, sure, but unhappy and unhealthy. After a series of very tough ups and downs, she decided to embrace the real her. The real her has taken the plus-sized modeling world by storm, and now, has helped women, all over the world, to embrace their bodies for what they are, through Topless Yoga and her blog “My Kind of Life”. She realized that her “flaws” aren’t flaws, they are beautiful marks of life that tell a story – her story. She realized that embracing the real her, made her feel loved and whole, not just by herself, but by her friends, family, and husband as well. She chose a path few take but those that do, have some of the most amazing outcomes and experiences one can have in life. Why? Because you are completely unencumbered and open to all of the beautiful experiences life can give you, without worrying about what you look like or what quirky personality trait you might show to others.
Oftentimes, we ask ourselves the question, “Who would love me if they knew/saw…” It’s this mindset that is not only judgmental but limiting. Instead, work on telling yourself, “Someone out there is a great match because I have/am…”
So the exercise out of today’s practice – focus on non-judgmental statements. Below are some great starts that I’ve filled in for myself, so you can get a sense of how this works:
- My relentlessness has been responsible for my success.
- I used to feel not good enough for some of the men I’ve dated but I’ve realized those men weren’t good enough for me.
- I might think I’m not thin enough for my liking but sometimes, my brain (and the wrong mirror) adds 10 lbs.
Serious, or light-hearted, use this exercise to show yourself that not only can you take yourself in a humorous light, but you can also accept (and be confident in) the beautiful, smart, successful person you know you are.