Today’s meditation is centered around bringing your hidden beliefs to that of your conscious self, facing any fears you have, head-on, realizing that facing them will help you break past any barriers faster, than trying to shove them deep down inside yourself. In other words, you are beginning the process of being a “freer self”.
In the past two days, we focused on listing out our top 10 beliefs and then mapping the “who we are” to them. Some of us might have been honest in our lists and others of us might have shoved one or two very honest truths, way down. Why is this? Fear of judgment – even of yourself.
Judgment is an evil thing. I’ve discussed how labels (categorizations of another) can morph into false beliefs, which in turn, creates the passing of judgment on others (as well as ourselves), as a result. Oftentimes, those passing judgment are not “free” themselves. They have a few (or many) hidden beliefs that they hold closely guarded because they are afraid of being judged for them. Thus, they appear closed off and defensive.
Look at society as a whole – we seem to still feel largely forced into making decisions, based on what is appropriate and what is not for our culture, our race, our gender, our age, etc. It’s because of this that our own beliefs that make up the core of who we are, might not align and thus, we feel threatened, scared, and untrustworthy of others. It’s easier to shove our beliefs down and stay guarded than to trust in ourselves, live our lives for ourselves, and be free.
So how do we stop this cycle:
- When you encounter a judgmental person, you can easily get defensive and react in a negative manner. Instead, ask yourself the following questions and/or make the following statements:
- Are they possibly having a bad day?
- There might be something going on in their life that is triggering this response.
- Did they have a bad experience once that triggered this reaction?
- Everyone is allowed their own viewpoint – accept them for who they are and move on from it, knowing you are doing the best you can do for yourself.
- Whatever it is that you think people will judge you for, own it. So what if you’re a mother or father but still like going out occasionally and having a good time, doing the things YOU love (within reason of course)? So what if you’re transgender/gay/bisexual? So what if you are 40 and have the energy of a 20 year-old? None of it matters because there are millions of you out there that are just like each other – and those like-minded people won’t judge you for who you are and what you want to be.
- You are not a one-size fits all. This has to be one of the hardest to come to terms with. Not everyone will like you, and people WILL judge you. Think about those one or two relationships or friendships where it seemed like more work than it was worth. They were not a good fit for you, your personality, and your beliefs. They were not FOR YOU. So instead, focus on your list of beliefs, focus on WHO YOU ARE in each of those beliefs, and then start to focus on WHO you want around that match those beliefs.
It’s taken years for me to surround myself with positive, beautiful souls that understand who I am and what I want out of life. Each of them match some aspect of my personality and what we all end up creating is an uplifting, circle of trust we can be proud of.
I know that not everyone in this world is going to like me, nor am I a personality fit for every potential friend or romantic relationship that I may come across. And because I know this, I am at a lot more peace in my life. It’s tough to put into practice but once you’re able to, you will learn to love and believe in yourself that much more.