Advice, Healthy & Beautiful

Marrying for a Lifetime of Fun, Not a Sense of Security

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A few months ago, a viral post went out, by Heidi Priebe, that changed not only how vows should be written, but also how a married couple should spend their life together.

This post struck a chord with me because it hit on every point of what I always knew marriage should be – a best friendship, in which two people grow TOGETHER to take on the world.

All too often, people get married for the wrong reasons.  It could be that it financially makes sense for security purposes; or you both have been together for years and “it’s time”; or that you just don’t want to be alone.  But what goes missing with these reasons is whether or not your life goals/wants will match your partner’s in the long run. And where it starts is the ability to look inside yourself, pull out your deepest desires, and stick to them.  Being honest with yourself is only going to allow you to be honest with others.  The more you can answer to your own wants and needs, the more you open yourself up to a partner who feels the same way.

So many people are terrified of being alone but what is more terrifying than that is FEELING alone in a BAD relationship (we’ve all been there).  I’ve written so many meditation posts on how to be the best you that you can be – to be comfortable being alone, and happy/excited about the prospect of the right person coming along, but not NEEDING someone else to make you feel a certain way.  Priebe’s post is proof positive that she isn’t willing to settle for someone in order to fulfill a desire that she could certainly provide for herself – what she wants is a best friend to challenge her in life, to make her bolder, brighter, and better than she’s ever been.  THIS is what marriage is about, and no one should settle for anything less.

I know some of you are now commenting to yourself on how hard it is to find someone where you live.  Break the boundaries on it – there are billions of people in this world and the right one might not be living close to where you do. I once saw this movie on Netflix called TiMER.  It’s a fictional romance/comedy on people who have a pheromone device implanted into their arm, and when two people are a match, the timer on their wrist goes off, alarming them to when they will meet their soul mate.  It made me think about the fact that there is someone out there for everyone – the beauty is, they could be anywhere/anyone in the world, it’s just about timing.

So go out there, enjoy your life for yourself, print out those vows and use them as a checklist for life. Remember that you don’t NEED someone to make your life better, WANT someone that will make YOU better.